as the winter takes one more cherry tree

Heute dachte ich an Sie.
ich dachte an, wie Sachen verwendeten zu sein.
ich dachte an unsere alte Freundschaft.
ich dachte an, wie Gebäude neigen, nach Erdbeben zu zerbröckeln.
ich dachte an die beendeten Weise Sachen.
ich dachte an Sie heute.

Wieder ohne.

here. in my head: the circus of it all

"i watched you change"

been having all these dreams lately.
scary and strange. i was in New Hampshire during one, although i don't remember what i was doing there.
it could have been snow-related.

i've had these dreams about infants, very french-like, les enfants.
and then there are the dreams about my beau, "wandering stars / for whom it is reserved / the blackness / the darkness / forever"
(what does this mean?) ich weiss nicht.
there are dreams where i can't find him, sometimes.
i think that things seep into your head and just create jumbles in your head during sleepy-time. actually, i know that this is so. it could mean absolutely nothing.

und so...

there are others:
this landscape that's dark and dreary (imagine an Edward Gorey-esque landscape with serious Marc Chagall under and overtones.....i end up there a lot. it's like the nexus, where i always end up. like my home, or something like that.

then recently,
i had this gun and i didn't know what i should do with it.
it was heavy and red.
the desert that i was in was done up in blacks and greys,
ravens claimed it as their home.
and then there was me.
alone, but for the gun and the murder of ravens.
murder.
and so i put it down, and walked away.
somewhere above me, the murder screamed.
in protest?

ich weiss nicht.

"she looks like Eve Marie-Saint in On the Waterfront" ....

You were right...

he certainly is...

Best Song Ever!!

"I want chicken, I want liver,

Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver!"

Sweet!

Good Lord!!

If you're concerned with how movies (such as Starsky & Hutch or any other media incarnation of pure un-adulterated evil) may be affecting your fragile Christian psyche, please, by all means, check out this site:

CAP Ministry Reports

If, however, you lean more towards hubris, filth, gossip, and other stupid crap, check out these sites (i happen to like these very much):

Pink Is the New Blog
The At Large Blog (hilarious!!)


more to come............(after all, I do work, you know!)

Pictures From Philly

Robert gots ta have the Cheese-Steak!!

Pictures From Philly

again with the dork...

Pictures From Philly

what a dork..

Pictures From Philly

blurry....but still cool

Pictures From Philly

Some are blurry....i think...

Today, this kinda spoke to me...don't know why..

"and if your friends don't come back to you / and you know this is madness / a lilac mess in your prom dress / and you say / i guess i'm an underwater thing"

Liquid Diamonds, Tori Amos

Go East, my boy...

back from NYC last night. longest f*ing flight EVER. but it was a semi-interesting flight because everyone was in strangely good spirits and walking around and talking with like everyone and drinking. it was strange and kind of neat.
still sucked though.
Philly was cool (not much to do there except run up the big Museums stairs and pretend you're Rocky and then go see the Liberty Bell (which is not as big as I thought it would be), but found some interesting and fun bars). the people are nice. one thing i found that was strange: a lot of the bars were in nondescript locations with no signage and usually in alleyways. strange, seedy, weird. but kinda neat.
met some nice people: lonely sorts, friendly sorts, strange sorts, and the like. i'm no good at remembering names so i'll just skip that part.
NYC was fun too. wandered around quite a bit, went shopping in Times Square and at the Macy's flagship store (and have now decided that i HATE Macy's because they have like the worst selection of clothes EVER unless you're old or "urban", which i'm guessing means that you listen to a lot of rap and dress like a hip-hop star, which i most certainly do not), and at other stores..........anyway, had some good food, met some cool chaps, danced a lot (at the Roxy), and one night i got really really really drunk and lost my dinner. that sucked. but even still, i had fun. and actually, i thought NYC was cool and all but like, a city is a city is a city, you know? i mean, yeah, it's BIG, and there's a lot of crap to do, and they have a huge statue, but LA has all that stuff too (except for a huge statue of a green woman). in the end i just felt like it was cool to have gone and seen what all the buzz was about, and it was cool, but i have to say, i'm really glad to be home.
and it feels really good to come home and see your boy at the airport. so worth coming home to.
hasta.